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Money? Brad? Nah. IT dunked on Whiteside & Gobert in the Emoji Wars and brought Hayward to ☘️

Isaiah Thomas imogi Gordon Hayward
copyright (c) 2017 NBA.com

Hayward is headed to Boston.

You can talk money, state tax rates, former coaches, Pat Riley’s mummifying mystique, and video presentations all you want.

But when Hayward appears at the podium in a few hours, the reason it’ll be as a Boston Celtic is IT’s clear victory in…

The Emoji Wars
(Episode #20 — the Gordonian Knot)

That’s right — the real reason why Gordon Hayward signed with the Celtics is Isaiah Thomas eviscerating his opponents and winning the twitter emoji war.

Here’s a battlefront report from our Millennial Correspondent:

It all started with Rudy Gobert, of the Utah Jazz, firing the first shot:

The poop emoji? Is that retro-chic in France or something? Like a storm trooper’s blaster shot, it didn’t hit the target.

Isaiah Thomas countered by going right to rim on the 7-footer:

Hassan Whiteside tried to get over in time for the block but….

Weak! All those numbers, once you sort them out look like a 1950s car odometer, and three shrugs at the end? Who shrugs three times?

(Hayward must have wondered, “is this really going to be my new rim protector?”)

Things might’ve looked a little bleak days later when Hayward suffered through a 6-hour PR debacle. IT reassured him, and Celtics fans, with:

(“If you can keep your head, when all about you, others are losing theirs, and blaming it on you….”)

Finally, when all the smoke had settled and Boston had got their man, Thomas celebrated his victory in the Great Twitter Emoji War of 2017:

The King in the Fourth strikes again, this time from deep-3-point range… in the Twittersphere.

Follow discussion of this article on Reddit, at r/BestofCeltics, and at r/BostonCeltics.

(New contributor Shreyas Laddha, our Millennial Correspondent, filed this report, and a couple of our aging crusty editors did their best to translate it into awkward mixed metaphors moving between basketball, sports, Pat Riley as Imhotep, and any analogy to “Game of Zones” we could think of.)

Note: follow Celtics247.com on twitter and you won’t miss out on… future developments with Gordon Hayward, Isaiah Thomas, and the Emoji Wars:

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Celtics247 staff

Celtics247 staff

Celtics247 staff is composed of fans, journalists, disbarred attorneys, people laid off by ESPN, and other disreputable types who spend too much time watching basketball -- and loving it. If you'd like to join our merry band, you can post a comment, tweet us at @Celts247, or email us (see the contact page.) The only requirement is that you bleed green.
2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Pingback: Money? Brad Stevens? Nah. IT dunked on Whiteside & Gobert in the Imoji Wars and brought Hayward to ☘️ – Kiwi Lead

  2. tatumGOAT

    July 7, 2017 at 9:43 am

    It’s great to see you guys back. This is cool. ☘️ ? ?

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